Two distinct life forces in me keep trying to controls my life; and I keeps allowing it.
Just when I think I've got my act together, things fall apart; and once again I am doing things I really don't want to do.
Smoking. What is the nature of this psychological pleasure? None of the much flaunted appeals of cigarette advertisers induces us to become smokers. Nor the hype and coolness of being a smoker as shown in all movies, advert or billboard I've seen. It's a peculiar thing but I wouldn't think of just sitting back without a cigarette in between breaks and regretted it moments later. But smoking is my oral pleasure. Oral pleasure is just as fundamental as sexuality and hunger. And I happen to love it :)
Quest for Knowledge. I once said to my circle of friends that study simply not my thingy and I have had enough. But one of them told me " Never Say Never " and she's fucking right! I am now on my path for the next level; Philosophiæ Doctor @ Ph.D. All men by nature desire knowledge; that's what I found out. It was many years ago since I graduated with my Masters in Hospitality Management majors and now the other part of me quest for more. I am no geeky but pursuit of knowledge seems like my thingy. I hate revising and reading journals but I can't keep my brain of those. I hate staying up late enriching my memory bytes but I am addicted to it. Knowledge is drugs. And I happen to love it :)
Onychophagia. Nail-biting it is. An impulse control disorder; specified on behavorial and emotional disorder that susceptible to broken skin of the cuticle, bacterial tansfer and dental problem. Yet, this alarming negative consequences have not stopped me from doing so; consciously or not. It's a disorder for God's sake! And I happen to love it :)
Blabbermouth. I must admit; I talks too much, can't tolerate with silence, always got something to talk-about (exceptional on gossips & hearsays) and clueless on how to end a sentence. I rest my case. And I happen to love it :)
Profanity. My strongly impolite, offensive and desecration in the form of coarse languages, cursing and swearing that always ended up with me apologizes and regret of uttering those; yet repetitive. Not a recent phenomenon though as swearing and cursing are modes of speech existing in all human languages. Somehow these vulgarisms mode of speech may inclines toward problematic attitudes, discriminatory, in-appropriateness or even bullying behavior; as perceived by surrounding souls. And I happen to love it :)
I have always looked for the perfect life to step into, but haven't lived one yet. I have regrets; but that was from a lifetime of taking chances, making decisions and trying not to be frozen. The only thing that I can deal with regrets is to understand them. Every perfect life is a parable invented by God. Don't you believe that every perfect life would mean the end of it? So what's your FML?